sharp vigilance

one of the things xixi's translated orphanage report stated about her was:
"Although enthusiastic to her family members, TianX i is a bit shy with strangers, to whom she maintains sharp vigilance."

see for yourselves!

1) in the hotel after 2.5 hours of crying
2) chinese new years 2007
3)2nd birthday- 2.24.06
4) september 2007

the time had arrived!

for 14 months we had been praying and loving for our daughter a half a world away. when the whole adoption process began- she had not made her appearance into the world.

after 11.5 months of paperchasing and waiting- we received information on who and where our daughter was- Cheng Tian Xi was born on april 24, 2004 and was waiting for us in Xiaogan City- Hubei Province- Peoples Republic of China.

for 7 weeks- we had 3 pictures of our daughter. i studied those pictures until i had every detail of them burned into my memory. every detail from the dirty mismatched clothes, the rosy chubby cheeks, her sharp vigilance, her excited look when she tried something new.

yet- in spite of all of the praying, waiting, picture memorizing- nothing compared to the emotions I felt when I actually laid eyes on xixi for the first time.

at 3:30- we arrived at the civil affairs office where we would meet xixi for the first time and finalize the adoption-

our bus pulled up at the same time the babies did-

4 precious little girls in matching yellow sweat suits-

it took us a few minutes to figure out which child was xixi- she was bald in all of her referral pictures- but one of the other moms said "look- she's the one on the left- look at her face!"




of course! how could I forget those cheeks!


all of my hopes, love, excitement, joyful anticipation were thrown out of the window- I was looking at my daughter for the first time. the world stopped. all i wanted to do at that moment was hold her and never put her down.


as soon as I snapped a few pictures- the babies were whisked off to a room until we had signed and sealed all of the official paperwork.


that was the longest 45 minutes of my life!


when they brought xixi out to us- i grabbed her out of the nanny's hands. our 14 month journey to katherine grace tian xi blauwkamp had ended. GOD at last- had united us as a family!




xixi's first hours with us were not as joyful to her.


she took one look at us and screamed bloody murder for 2.5 straight hours.


in one short day she went from the foster family who had cared for her since she was two days old, put on a bus for 2 hours, had a hot and stuffy sweat suit stuffed on her and handed off to 2 people who looked like aliens and smelled like sour milk.


and yet- here were are- 3 years later- the family god put together.


god knew that xixi was our daughter and we were her parents. he sent us half way around the world to unite us- but here we are!

CZ 3118

this was the last leg of our journey to xixi- a china airlines flight 3118 from beijing to wuhan-

this picture was taken 3 years ago about right now- (12 hour time difference!)

our guide had to bribe the airline to allow all of our luggage to make the flight without being fined for having too many and way too heavy bags- one of those bags being a new suitcase we'd purchased the nite before to hold all of the goodies we'd purchased in Beijing for XiXi's future family day gifts!

we took off over mountains and landed in rice paddies-

2.5 hours of flight time- an hour bus ride from the airport to the hotel- a crazy hour of unpacking and praying in the hotel room, and a crazy bus trip across town (READ- kinda like riding the Knight bus on Harry Potter!) separated us from our childless life and the little girl we'd been loving and praying for over the last 14 months.

can you feel the tension?

spelling bee

this is a great video- I couldn't find the original- but the soundtrack is original- unfortunately it doen's capture will forte's facial expressions!

NUMB3R5

3:

number of houses we've owned, number of states Ross and I have both lived in (Ross- michigan, Illinois, Maryland) (Me- South Carolina, Illinois, Maryland), number of siblings in Ross' family

4:

number of siblings in my family- ALL GIRLS!

8:

number of weeks Ross and I knew each other before dating, number of weeks Ross and I dated before getting engaged, number of months we were engaged

13:

number of years we've been married, age I first started playing percussion

14:

number of years between Ross and his younger sister (he was the baby in the family until he was 28 and his folks adopted Irina at age 14!)

23,639:

approximate number of air miles traveled to and from China in 1995.

122,600:

number of frequent flyer miles my dad had on USAir that helped get us there and back for free!

1,573,770:

approximate number of minutes we've been blessed to be parents of XiXi (time taken as of 4am on 3.26.08)

tuesday's mostly unknown, but great faves

here's my mostly unknown, but good faves for the week

movie:

Strictly Ballroom

this movie came out in 1992- was directed and produced by Baz Luhrmann and is the 1st of 3 of the Red Curtain Trilogy(Romeo and Juliet and Moulin Rouge top it out ). It follows the story of Scott Hastings- an up and coming ballroom champion and his desire to dance- not so "strictly ballroom".

There are some great themes of old vs new (like wineskins from the Gospels!), returning to your first love, and "a life lived in fear is a life half lived." There are some beautiful city shots and the dancing is not so bad either! If you like movies with dry humor and deep meaning- you'll love this one!

music:

Burlap to Cashmere

these guys put out an album in the late 1990s- Is there Anybody out there?

it's one of my all time faves- smoking guitars, kicking percussion, amazing lyrics- their musical genre is similar to Rusted Root-

i saw them in concert and I don't think I've ever seen anyone's hands move so fast on the guitar or the drums- they were amazing.

I'm sad they're not around anymore.

Fave songs: Diggee Dime (about Heaven), Eileen's Song (great love song), Scenes (just a great song musically) and Mansions (about the Kingdom of God)

3 years ago today...

ross and i began our 16 day journey to china to meet and adopt xixi.

the above photo was taken at bwi at around 4:00am. 6 of my beloved hopkins students jumped out from behind a large plant near the air canada desk and gave us a wonderful surprise send off on our 20 hour journey to china.

the days preceding our trip were a blur of activity. we got "the travel call" only 72 hours prior to arriving at the airport. my dad had given us his frequent flyer miles so we were able to fly for free (YAY!) but spent several hours on the phone with USAir buying and rebuying tickets for our flight.

the floor of our basement was covered in travel items- clothes for 3, diapers, medicine of all sorts, cheerios, important documents...all to be packed in 2 suitcases and 2 carry on bags.

13.5 months of paperchasing, praying, hoping and waiting were coming down to the wire-

a plane trip over the north pole and 6 days in beijing were all that separated us from a country we had begun to love and adopt as our own , becoming parents, and xixi at last having a family....

it's hard to remember what life was like before that plane trip

we can't wait until our next farewell departure to china!!!

2 tombs at easter

3 easters ago we were in Tiananmen Square with 3 other families on the first of 3 days of touring in Beijing.

one of the spots we saw was mao's tomb (pictured above). the building was ENORMOUS (look at the people in the picture to get a sense of scale!) and there was a line of at least a 1000 people waiting outside to see mao's body which is entombed in glass. seeing mao's body is a pilgrimage- a "must see"- for people in this beautiful country. a lot like seeing the statue of liberty or the washington monument.

to try to explain the influence of mao would be like trying to explain the influence of mickey mouse and dora on a toddler. it's complex and not always logical.

i remember having an eerie feeling when i saw the long line of people waiting to get a glimpse of the embalmed body of this iconic legend. at the time- i think it was more a feeling of how this man's leadership had resulted in the overpopulation of a country that couldn't sustain the birth rate and lead to one of the many factors in the complex tapestry of why we were in china in the first place.

adopting xixi.

what didn't hit me until the following easter was the irony and the sadness of the line of nameless, faceless people waiting to see an embalmed body in a tomb. the body of a man many have worshipped.

i was standing in tiananmen square on easter morning watching people pay tribute to a dead man. a man whose power and authority shaped the culture of a nation of a billion people over the course of the last 100 years.

what a shocking contrast to worshipping a man who rose from the tomb. a man who had
the power and authority to conquer death. a man who has had the power to transform the world for the last 2000 years. a man who knows me by name and knows my whole life story! a man who for the joy set before him suffered the cross, endured the shame, and sat down at the throne of God!

spending easter in tiananmen square witnessing this sharp contrast of tombs has been forever burned in my memory.

DWS predictions and the Oceanic 6

after watching the ladies dance on DWS- here are my top picks

Kristi Yamguchi was the best of the bunch- hands down- I think she has a good shot at taking it all..

Marlee Matlin was amazing- especially considering she is profoundly deaf. Kudos to her dance partner as well- it will be exciting to watch them!

Surprise of the nite....

Priscilla Presley- for a woman of 63 this woman can move! and a death spiral to boot too!

here are my predictions of who is going home on tuesday:
Adam Corolla and Monica Seles...we'll see if America and the judges agree...

LOST SPOILER ALERT!!!

so now that we know WHO the Oceanic 6 are- we now have to stay tuned and see how they actually get OFF the island and how it is determined who actually get rescued and who is forced to stay...

and I'm also wondering if Jin is the one who dies tonite- would explain the tombstone from last week and also confirm the DUI/Death sentence rumor for the cast.

stay tuned!

a 3 foot -700 dollar drop!

so- back at the end of january i bought a new mac powerbook pro! i was in dire need of a new laptop and after having a great december with my funding- i was given the green light to proceed with the purchase! i LOVE my new mac- it's totally dreamy.

21 days after pulling it out of the package, i was standing by my car talking to josh after a staff meeting and my backpack slipped out of my hand and fell MAYBE 3 feet to the street- the fall being cushioned by my foot.

now- i should add here- that i have a lap top back pack with a padded lap top holder. it's awesome- my computer doesn't move in it and has been great with my old lap top.

well- obviously that wasn't enough to protect my fragile new purchase.

when i got home and turned it on- the monitor went all tie-dye on me. we called apple and after being on the phone with tech support for an hour they didn't know what was wrong with it.

ross hooked it up to my old desk top monitor and i was back in business. at this point we knew it was probably something video related.

since this is spring break week- i felt i was able to potentially part with it for a few days- so ross finally took it into the apple store to have it assessed.

we were thinking it was probably a faulty wire or the video card needed replacing.

NOOOOOOO-HOOO-HOOOOO!

the "little 3 foot drop" ended up breaking my computer screen.

BREAKING IT!

the damage- $700!!!!

yes -you read that correctly.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

i'm buying a bullet proof steel lap top case for my not so dreamy new lap top.

Let me Entertain You!

So- we watched the first nite of dancing with the Stars- I've never gotten into this show before- and now I'm seeing why it's so popular!
I can't get the Robbie Williams song out of my head that the pros danced to last nite! it was amazing! the band they have rocks too! unbelievable!
so- I didn't get to see tonite's show yet- but here are my favorites from last nite:

Mario (the best one of the nite)

Christian de la Fuente (he's got an amazing latin vibe going)

Steve Guttenburg- not the best dancer of the nite- but looked like he was having the most fun!

I have my pre-seen women's favorites- but I'll wait to see how they actually do to form some opinions...

on april 5th- one of these puppies will be going home...

to the blauwkamp house!

got these pics last nite- the puppies are now 5 weeks old- had their first hair cuts!  

aren't they cute!

anyone dare to venture which one we'll pick?

we're still working on a name- xixi can only think of girl names...sophie, mia, tootie (don't know where that one came from!)

"And now compelled by the Spirit, I am going...

to McDaniel College,
though I know now what will be happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace." - paul to the ephesian church (acts 20:22-24)

the LORD had released me from my time of serving at johns hopkins (6 years!) and was sending me onto mcdaniel college. and despite some scary unknowns, i knew that my life call was and would continue to be to testify to the good news of GOD's grace to the next generation...

in some ways- this calling seemed like a "duh!" moment.

• i had a great working relationships with josh. we had always enjoyed serving together and had dreamed off and on about what it would be like to actually serve together on the same campus.
• i had developed a great rapport over the years with mcdaniel students. i had spoken at their wednesday nite fellowship meetings at least twice a year since coming to the baltimore area and i always enjoyed the time i spent with students.
• the campus culture was very community oriented and spiritually open. it was a "sweet spot" to use my gift mix of evangelism, high relational and incarnational ministry style and creativity.
• my going to mcdaniel seemed like a perfect "fit" for me- which was confirmed by all of my ministry partners and ross.

so- YAY! onto mcdaniel!

BUT....

as the pieces of this calling came together- I realized several things...
1) this was a call- not only to me- but to my entire family- we all needed to hear from the Holy Spirit that we were to move on...
from our life in baltimore-
our friends
our great house and neighborhood
our amazing church community
xixi's great preschool
our chinese adoption community
our love of charm city urban life

to "quiet carroll county living"

it was one thing to change campus assignments- I had done that already- U of Illinois, Loyola College, Johns Hopkins

it was entirely different thing to up and move.

we had done that 7 years prior with some painful outcomes in the process.

there were a few SCARY unknowns about this new calling to go to mcdaniel college- and before I was ready to go for it- i knew i had to wrestle with GOD about them. here were a few of the SUWIs (scary unknown wrestling items)

• will we find a good church community?
• will we be able to foster xixi's ethnic identity development in a similar way as we were able to in baltimore?
• how long will i even stay on staff? is a move worth it if we don't know?
• will we develop new friends and deep, meaningful relationships here?

good thing GOD can handle my wrestling matches

and it's awesome when GOD speaks to the SUWIs deep in my soul...

one year ago...

i was nearing the end of my period of discernment about whether after 6 years of hard and faithful service,  GOD was releasing me from my position as campus staff at johns hopkins and to transition to partnering with josh at mcdaniel college.

i spent about an hour a day for 3 weeks journaling, praying, and discerning where GOD was leading me.  my supervisor gave me some insightful questions to work through. i treasured afternoon nap times to sit with jesus and hear from him.

as i prayed and listened- jesus brought these verses to mind from psalm 71:

"but as for me, I will always have hope;

I will praise you more and more.

My mouth will tell of your righteousness, 

of your salvation all day long-

though I know not its measure.

I will come and proclaim your mights acts, O Sovereign Lord;

I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.

Sine my youth, O God, you have taught me, 

and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.

Even when I am old and gray- do not forsake me, O God.

'TILL I DECLARE YOUR POWER TO THE NEXT GENERATION-

YOUR MIGHT TO ALL WHO ARE TO COME." -  psalm 71:14-18

at the time I read this- the words spurred me on to remember where my hope lies- in the Sovereign Lord.  the words spurred me on to remember the call i received 9 years prior to go and proclaim the love of jesus and the power of his kingdom to college students.  

even in the midst of a risky and scary discerning process- i wanted to continue to give praise to jesus more and more- to tell people about his righteousness and salvation.  

despite the events leading up to this process of discernment and regardless of the decision- my heart's desire was to continue to have hope in the true and living GOD and to proclaim that hope to the people HE put in my path.

as i marinated in the words and the truths that lay within them- i felt freedom to hear what jesus was calling me to- i felt a deep peace when i remembered the ways GOD had been there for and with me during prior times of transition- and that part of him being everlasting and unchanging meant that he would be there for me again on the next leg of my journey.

these words gave me the courage and strength to hear jesus say, "your time at hopkins is at an end.  well done- good and faithful servant.  i'm ready to reveal to you the next leg of your journey with me.  are you ready to receive it?"

i'll reveal that tomorrow!

He's in there somewhere

puppies at 2 weeks

puppies at 3 weeks

So-

in case you haven't heard- we're getting a puppy next month.

Yup- you read that right.  A puppy!  a black standard poodle puppy to be exact.

we figure with Simon's cancer and unknown lifespan, our probable traveling to China next summer to get XiXi's mei mei or di di, that now was the time to take the puppy plunge.

The litter was born on February 9th.  We have 1st pick of the two black males.

We travel up to PA (just north of Scranton for your Office lovers!) on April 5th to pick him up and bring him home.

I'm excited, yet becoming ever more aware that I have no idea what I'm about to get myself into.  Puppies are so stinkin' cute- yet a ton of work.  Kinda like a baby. 

the idea that my summer will be spent raising a puppy is slowly sinking in.  

At least this way we won't have two "diapers" at the same time (baby + puppy).