feed yourself

I LOVED the sermon my pastor gave at church today! I was particularly challenged and reminded again of my need to "feed myself" and practice the Spiritual Disciplines.

One of my all time favorite books- a true classic in the realm of spiritual formation and disciplines is Richard Foster's "The Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth"

I received this 13 years ago from my in-laws. This is the one book on my shelf (besides my Bible!) that I go back and read over and over. I have probably gone back read at least one or two chapters every year! I think I may have more underlined, highlighted, side bar notes in this book than any other book! This book is AMAZING!

Here are a few quotes from the first chapter "The Spiritual Disciplines: The Door to Liberation"

(first paragraph) "Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem. The desperate need today is not for a great number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people."

here are a few more nuggets:

"JOY is the keynote of all the Disciplines. The purpose of the disciplines is liberation from the stifling slavery to self-interest and fear. When the inner spirit is liberated from all that weighs is down, it can hardly be described as dull drudgery."

"God has given us the Disciplines of the spiritual life as a means of receiving his grace. The Disciplines allow us to place ourselves before God so that He can transform us."

"The Disciplines are God's way of getting us into the ground; they put us where he can work within us and transform us. By themselves the Spiritual Disciplines can do nothing; they can only get us to the place where something can be done. They are God's means of grace. The inner righteousness we seek is not something that is poured on our heads. God has ordained that Disciplines of the spiritual life as the means by which we place ourselves where he can bless us."

Foster devotes the next 12 chapters to describing and explaining in detail the inward disciplines (meditation on the Word, prayer, fasting, study), the Outward Disciplines (Simplicity, Solitude, Submission, and Service) and the corporate Discipines (Confession, worship, guidance and celebration). He also goes into some detail of how to begin practicing each discipline.

one thing I appreciate is that Foster goes out of his way to distinguish between the ruts and traps of legalism and practicing the disciplines as means of grace in the believer's life!

this book is thick and meaty- and when I find myself in a "stuck" place- this book is a good reminder of WHY I need to practice the spiritual disciplines in my life- I need Jesus and putting myself in places where I am meditating on the word, fasting, solitude (a big challenge but SOOO necessary for me!), prayer, etc. actually enable me to come into the presence of Jesus. He is my treasure and my reward!

"The life that is pleasing to God is not a series of religious duties (AMEN!). We have only one thing to do- namely, to experience a life of relationship and intimacy with God."

Pic of the week

princess in training? you decide!

Meet Xavier!

here he is! isn't he just adorable?

we went to the breeders on saturday- we had first pick of the black males-

the breeder recommended the one dog to us as he was "more playful". She said the other dog was too clingy and wouldn't be good around kids.

turns out the "playful" one wanted nothing to do with us- the clingy dog, however- came right up to all of us and started licking our hands and playing with us. so we chose him...

or as Ross said- he chose us!

we're having a blast- xixi has a new mission in life- to have as much holding/playing time as possible with the dog!

Goodbye Steven Guttenberg

Okay- I have to be honest here- I think the wrong person got kicked of DWS last nite!

Steve Guttenberg should not have been sent home- Marissa and Adam are far worse dancers- the judges thought so- I think America likes Adam's very attractive dance professional partner and they felt sorry for how harshly the judges treated Marissa that they are giving her a 2nd chance!

Steve is a definate shoo in for Mr. Congeniality and Spirit of all the stars.

I'm sad- but the show must go on!

April Fools mostly unknown but great faves (a day late!)

I don't know where yesterday went- so here's a 2 for 1 blog day!

here are two more of my not so famous faves...

House of Flying Daggers:
this chinese film (in subtitles) is beautiful to watch and the plotline is so well written that it will keep surprising you until the very last scene. I had to watch it several times to figure it all out- but the movie is such a treat on all senses- I didn't mind! Ziyi Zhang (from Memoirs of a Geisha and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) is stellar in her role. The fights scenes are some of the most amazing I've seen- the special effects are incredible. even if foreign language films aren't your thing- you should watch this movie!

The Basics: Cosmic Neighborhood
I got turned onto this group from one of my old supervisors. This husband and wife songwriting team got their start in Northern California and have since moved to Chapel Hill, NC. Their lyrics are amazing tapestries of stories- ranging from parables to social commentaries with a ever present gospel thread that you have to have "eyes to see, ears to hear and hearts to understand".

One of my favorite songs on the CD is Impossible Promises. I often find myself asking these very hard questions and the line "me and Jesus are in therapy, I used to flirt with grace, took a leap of faith now I'm black and blue- trying to get to you" applies to my life more often than not!

Why chose to love, when you could walk away
Why not mortgage integrity with debts you cant pay
Why care about a single soul but yourself
When you can just consume and be like everyone else

Why give your time or your heart to friendship
When it’s costly and hard and you don’t see the benefit
Why stand for truth when your career could be at stake
Why fight the tide when the culture loves a fake

I don’t know but- this God I love, we don’t always agree
And me and Jesus- we’re in therapy
I used to flirt with grace, took a leap of faith and I’m black and blue
Trying to get to you

Why chose to rest or pursue solitude
When there’s always something else more important to do
Why bleed or risk to create a work of art
When it won’t sell as easily as a candy bar

Why have a child when you’re way too old
Why love your brother when your blessing he stole
Why challenge the king, when you can’t be his queen
Why leave your home for some place you’ve never even seen

I don’t know but- this God I love, we don’t always agree
And me and Jesus- we’re in therapy
I used to flirt with grace, took a leap of faith and I’m black and blue
Following after you

Oh, the hope born of promise but today the ache of the wait
And oh- the folly of the saints will I laugh with you
At impossible promises- unbroken and true
When the saints stumble in- count me in

I don’t know but- this God I love, we don’t always agree
And me and Jesus- we’re in therapy
I used to flirt with grace, but I took a leap of faith
This God I love, this God I love

I used to flirt with grace but I took a leap of faith
I may be black and blue I’ve taken a hit or two
I’m seeing mountains move
I want to be close to you
You are- the one that I love

sharp vigilance

one of the things xixi's translated orphanage report stated about her was:
"Although enthusiastic to her family members, TianX i is a bit shy with strangers, to whom she maintains sharp vigilance."

see for yourselves!

1) in the hotel after 2.5 hours of crying
2) chinese new years 2007
3)2nd birthday- 2.24.06
4) september 2007

the time had arrived!

for 14 months we had been praying and loving for our daughter a half a world away. when the whole adoption process began- she had not made her appearance into the world.

after 11.5 months of paperchasing and waiting- we received information on who and where our daughter was- Cheng Tian Xi was born on april 24, 2004 and was waiting for us in Xiaogan City- Hubei Province- Peoples Republic of China.

for 7 weeks- we had 3 pictures of our daughter. i studied those pictures until i had every detail of them burned into my memory. every detail from the dirty mismatched clothes, the rosy chubby cheeks, her sharp vigilance, her excited look when she tried something new.

yet- in spite of all of the praying, waiting, picture memorizing- nothing compared to the emotions I felt when I actually laid eyes on xixi for the first time.

at 3:30- we arrived at the civil affairs office where we would meet xixi for the first time and finalize the adoption-

our bus pulled up at the same time the babies did-

4 precious little girls in matching yellow sweat suits-

it took us a few minutes to figure out which child was xixi- she was bald in all of her referral pictures- but one of the other moms said "look- she's the one on the left- look at her face!"




of course! how could I forget those cheeks!


all of my hopes, love, excitement, joyful anticipation were thrown out of the window- I was looking at my daughter for the first time. the world stopped. all i wanted to do at that moment was hold her and never put her down.


as soon as I snapped a few pictures- the babies were whisked off to a room until we had signed and sealed all of the official paperwork.


that was the longest 45 minutes of my life!


when they brought xixi out to us- i grabbed her out of the nanny's hands. our 14 month journey to katherine grace tian xi blauwkamp had ended. GOD at last- had united us as a family!




xixi's first hours with us were not as joyful to her.


she took one look at us and screamed bloody murder for 2.5 straight hours.


in one short day she went from the foster family who had cared for her since she was two days old, put on a bus for 2 hours, had a hot and stuffy sweat suit stuffed on her and handed off to 2 people who looked like aliens and smelled like sour milk.


and yet- here were are- 3 years later- the family god put together.


god knew that xixi was our daughter and we were her parents. he sent us half way around the world to unite us- but here we are!